Postgrad (Writing Challenge Day 3)
Three idiots are typing on one laptop.
MAN 1
…And that’s how you open the word processor.
MAN 2
So, eeeee, how do you start typing?
MAN 3
How do I open the iTunes?
An IDIOT’S GUIDE TO ITUNES drops on his head.
MAN 3
Let’s see.
MAN 3 plays the iTunes. No music is heard.
MAN 2
So, how do you know it’s eeeee playing if we can’t hear it?
MAN 1
Is the church open today?
MAN 3
It’s closed every other Thursday. Shhhh! This is a good song.
(sings)
Roxanne. You don’t have to put on the red light.
The Three Idiots take a gulp of beer and spin around.
MAN 1
No mention of the stars shining above?
MAN 2
How do you eeee know there are stars if they are far?
MAN 3
The stars weren’t mentioned. That’s a different track.
(smashes the laptop)
When I look at the stars, I see someone else
The Three Idiots jump up and down.
MAN 2
I still want to know eeeee how to start typing.
MAN 1
I say, you do have a good singing voice.
MAN 3
Thank you, I try.
MAN 1
I gave my singing voice away.
MAN 3
At what price?
MAN 1
A dandelion.
MAN 2
Eeeeeee, you made a trade?
MAN 3
How big was the dandelion?
MAN 1
Smaller than a lion. Bigger than a dande.
MAN 3
That’s not very small.
MAN 1
Sadly, not.
MAN 2
Eeeeeee, not very big either
MAN 3
(crushes the fragments of the laptop using his guitar)
Change station! Change station!
(sings)
Early morning, she wakes up, knock knock knock on the door.
The three idiots run around in concentric circles.
MAN 1
Where did you learn to fly?
MAN 3
A mosquito taught me. You?
MAN 1
I don’t know how.
MAN 2
Eeeeee, but you seem very good.
MAN 3
You want to learn how?
MAN 1
You will teach me?
MAN 3
No.
MAN 2
(attempting to type on the broken laptop screen)
Eeeeeee, please teach me how to type.
MAN 3
It’s pretty simple.
(smashes the laptop some more using a helicopter)
I just wrote “Hi.”
MAN 1
Beautiful font.
MAN 3
I was going for mysterious. Beautiful is cheap.
MAN 1
My apologies. I should try to type some myself.
(smashes the laptop some more using an elephant)
“Hello.”
MAN 3
Very neo-gothic.
MAN 1
Thank you. I wanted paleo-gothic, but I get what I get.
MAN 2
Eeeeeee. I think I get it.
(smashes the laptop using a barcode reader)
“Nice to meet you.”
MAN 3
I’m not sure I get it.
