The Character that Never Was (Writing Challenge Day 9)
WRITER
…and then at this part, you got to fish out your big-ass lighter before suavely lighting his cigarette –
CUTE BOY AT TK
Why?
WRITER
Pardon?
CUTE BOY AT TK
Why am I doing this?
WRITER
‘Because I said so’ not enough?
CUTE BOY AT TK
It never is.
WRITER
How about because the guy across the room is flat-out flirting with you and you’re also interested then he approached you asking for a light although he obviously has one.
CUTE BOY AT TK
Why should I light his cigarette?
WRITER
Because you’re flirting back!
CUTE BOY AT TK
No.
WRITER
What?
CUTE BOY AT TK
No.
WRITER
Why?
CUTE BOY AT TK
It’s not me. First of all, I would never own a ‘big-ass lighter.’ Who would? Second, if I’m into that guy, I’d never light his cigarette if he oh-so-obviously has one himself. I’m not that easy.
WRITER
First of all, who wouldn’t want to own a big-ass lighter? I know I have one.
CUTE BOY AT TK
Yes, but I’m not you. I’m also not tacky.
WRITER
What’s wrong with big-ass lighters? Plus, you got to give the guy a sign you’re interested in him.
CUTE BOY AT TK
Do I really? Is it consistent with who I am? It’s not. You made me to be this relatively high-class Ateneo student. I’d tell him to light his own cigarette.
WRITER
That’s kind of bitchy.
CUTE BOY AT TK
We don’t live in your nice world, sadly. Plus, what the hell, you made sixteen years old – that guy’s obviously in his early 20’s. Creepy much?
WRITER
Hey! You’re not sixteen-sixteen. You’re just more or less around that age.
CUTE BOY AT TK
Creepy. Just creepy. It doesn’t even factor in that story. He’s just gonna have sex with me and then disregard me after. No pedophilia factor?
WRITER
You’re not the lead character. Why should you have an arc?
CUTE BOY AT TK
Everybody has an arc. Yes, the guy’s cute. I can buy that he’ll flirt with me because, well, I am cute. You made it convenient that all my friends are at the comfort room right now. You even gave me a squeeky voice, dear god, can’t I even get puberty here?
WRITER
So? Why can’t you flirt with him?
CUTE BOY AT TK
It’s not that sixteen year olds don’t go for twenty-one year old guys, mind you. Not even if they’re as fashionably good looking as that one. It’s just that it’s not consistent with who I am. I am not rebelling against someone or something. I just haven’t explored myself to lead me to experiment with others.
WRITER
That’s bullshit pop psychology.
CUTE BOY AT TK
I just can’t light his lighter. Plus, why do I need to have an erection the whole time? Spectacle?
WRITER
Teenage boys and hormones –
CUTE BOY AT TK
That’s bullshit. It doesn’t make any sense.
WRITER
Come on, are you gonna be hard on me?
CUTE BOY AT TK
Whoever said making human beings was easy? Come here, look.
(goes to the stack of papers the writer is holding)
‘Cute boy at TK is a teenaged high-class freshman student. He is rich and owns his own car. He has his circle of pretentiously rich friends. He is searching for himself and a meaning in life.’
WRITER
It’s logical for you to experiment!
CUTE BOY AT TK
It’s not! I can’t see how a rich boy like me who is just beginning to know himself would jump into bed with some older guy!
WRITER
It’s not sex! It’s lighting the fucking cigarette.
CUTE BOY AT TK
Bring me to a point logically where I would gladly fish out my lighter (just an ordinary one, mind you. That big-ass one is just plain tacky.) and light him. I can’t see it now.
WRITER
Fuck you!
(bangs the cute boy at tk’s head on the table)
Just light the fucking lighter.
CUTE BOY AT TK
No.
WRITER
(bitch-slapping the cute boy at tk)
Light it, you asshole!
CUTE BOY AT TK
Make me.
WRITER
I can.
CUTE BOY AT TK
Yes. But you’ll lose me.
The writer stops strangling the cute boy at tk. He tosses him to the floor. Angry, he goes to his notes and writes in clear big letters ‘THE CUTE BOY AT TK FISHES OUT HIS BIG-ASS LIGHTER BEFORE LIGHTING HIS CIGARETTE.’
The writer smiles, happy. He turns to gloat towards the cute boy at tk to see he is gone. Repalced by an indescribable blob.
