Last night, instead of penises,

I dreamed of vaginas.

One vagina, two vaginas, three vaginas.

Pulsating crimson vaginas.

Hairy vaginas in three sides.

Square vaginas that hum themselves to sleep.

Wide vaginas, thin vaginas, striped vaginas, vaginas that want vaginas, vaginas that spit on vaginas.

Vibrating, licking, throbbing vaginas dancing out of sync.

Wet vaginas seeking clothed comfort.

Flowery vaginas. Vaginas that tickle and trickle on vaginas.

Scratching itchy vaginas.

Purple vaginas that have had too much too soon too little too fast.

Vaginas that squirt outward inward.

Contracting vaginas expanding vaginas to all sizes.

Houses that fit through vaginas, trees that fit through vaginas and the planet that seeks to fit itself in a vagina.

Grinning vaginas, vicious vaginas, gluttonous vaginas, magnanimous vaginas.

Flying vaginas swooping from cliffs, blowing dust over my head.

Vaginas all around in hordes of endless millions, billions, trillions, vagillions of vaginas.

Armored vaginas attacking with shiny shields.

Swaying vaginas, thrusting vaginas, swarming vaginas that chase me, chase me, chase me through the doors where the vagina queen lives. Perfectly irresistible vagina queen baring fangs of disillusion.


The vagina queen flies from her throne.

Slow circular motion – a tango with the vagina queen.

I lead with a one and a two.

She steals it with her three and four.

She misses a step.

I fall.

Vagina queen standing over me.

No hand to offer.


And again!

She leads with a one and a two.

I take over.

She misses a step.


And again!

Unrhythmic laps with the vagina queen.

Dancing vaginas all around

Cheering and jeering, chanting and panting

My union with the vagina queen

Who cannot dance

Not even a bit.


And again!

The vagina queen twirls me

Twirling me around and around

Upon my axis

A panoramic vision of blurry elated vaginas


Until I fall from dizziness.


And again!

Around and around and around her throne

The vagina queen leads me

Flocked by her minions

Until I collapse

A limp heap

On her wooden throne

Unable to rise.


Sensations on sides, sensations on tops, sensations below, within, without, beyond, all around.

I don’t want to want to want to want vaginas but carnivorous vaginas are eating me from all sides.

Preparing the way for the vagina queen, slowly making her way up.


Victorious vagina.


And I want to want it.