Do, Re, Mi
DO: Raw grain, before baked bread
RE: Who everybody loves.
MI: A film that starred Tom Cruise
FA: Offensive word for gays
SO: Whole seeds thrown to the ground
LA: STILL a note to follow So.
TI: A pole to put your balls
SCENE: A musical sheet. LA is leading the vocalization.
LA (vocalizing): La la la la la. La la la la la. La la la la la. Good works, guys, break. La la la la la. Oh, my. Can’t seem to stop. La la la la Someday, My Prince Will — Oh, my. What’s getting into me? It’s getting quite hot in here. (moves down one line) TI’s been hitting on me the whole day, I kept telling him, the more he hits me, the flatter he gets. Oh, my. La la la la la. I surely hope they’d come up with my description soon enough. La la la la la. I feel more like a placeholder than real life note. How many times have I asserted, I’m a note, I have rights, I am not defined by what I’m note. Because I’m note So. Look at them with their cool hip-hop street names, and here I am, poor LA la la la la, stuck. We’re opening for tonight and the program has all our names, but mine’s just LA. How hard is it to think of LA? I’m a city. I’m an article. I’m what you vocalize with. I’m LA! I’m the sound you make when you just frolick around la la la. I’m the sound you make when you’re talking to someone stupid, la la la. I’m the sound you make when you’re enumerating, la la la. When you forget the lyrics, you use me. When someone kicks you in the balls, you squeel in LA. LA. It’s always been LA. When have you ever used SO, aside from being sarcastic? Like this one time, I went out with FA, just drinks, the usual at the Treble, couple of shots and we went to his place. As he was fucking me, at first he was shouting my name LA LA LA LA LA LA, then suddenly, he just went SO! Oh, my. People love the other notes over me, like this one I dated, I thought we were going well but he broke up with me. He said, it’s not you, it’s MI. I was like, you’re cheating on me with MI? He was like, not you, it’s MI. We were in dischord but at that point MI and I weren’t on singing terms, so I couldn’t clarify. But nothing really beats this one time, I went to the opera. Goodness gracious, my ex was singing, I didn’t know. He saw me, and then he just shouted my name at the top of his lungs. LAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. He murdered me then and there. That hurt me. I was vibrating the whole time, all the rest, Do and the gang, were good, but I couldn’t stop shaking. Oh, my. People were talking about how he nailed that note, and I was so embarassed, like was he going around telling people we had sex, as if my reputation could use more gossip. La la la la la. Hey, TI, lead the warm-up tomorrow, will you? So that Filipino people would be happy. Good. La la la la la. I suppose break’s over guys. Come on, we have 3,000 concerts to be at tonight. Start vocalizing. La la la la la.
This is the 100 Songs Project, a 100-day writing challenge based on AFI’s 100 Years…100 Songs. Every day, I write a short poem, prose piece, or play based on, reacting to, rejecting, accepting, or doing something related to one of the songs in the top 100 list.
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- Disney Princesses from Least Slutty to Sluttiest (deelaytful.com)
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