The Shadow of Your Smile

The sun rises and sets without you.

I wake up at the crack of dawn, punch snooze, then buzz for a few minutes. I stand, waiting for the icy blast to hit met at the shower. Groggy, I stir my coffee, staring blankly at the clock, occasionally putting salt instead of sugar. I wake up without you.

I go to work. I say hi to our security. I sit on my desk, type up a couple of reports. A supervisor comes by, we chat about her husband casually. She tends not to talk about her happiness, at least not in front of me. I still congratulate her on the wedding. Lunch rolls by, I sit lonely at the cafeteria — a lot of co-workers have tried to sit with me, after a few attempts, they stopped. I breathe without you.

At home, I cook supper. One of those instant microwave-able stuff. I eat without tasting it, forcing it down with a glass of iced beer. I watch the colors and shapes from the television grow and change into more interchangeable colors and shapes. The seat beside me is cold. I move without you.

I shudder as I put my blanket around my naked body. I feel my feet playing against each other. Instinctively, I hug myself, willing myself to sleep now. I live without you. And as I close my eyes, the inevitable, just faintly under the cracks of the ceiling, I still can see the shadow of your smile.

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This is the 100 Songs Project, a 100-day writing challenge based on AFI’s 100 Years…100 Songs. Every day, I write a short poem, prose piece, or play based on, reacting to, rejecting, accepting, or doing something related to one of the songs in the top 100 list.

Please consider liking Deelaytful on Facebook. We’re doing a promotion in preparation for the 200th post in a couple of weeks. If we get 500 likes before the 200th post, I will be uploading a video of myself singing a medley of Disney Princesses songs on YouTube.

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