Mrs. Robinson

“Mrs. Robinson, language, please,” the doctor said.

Mrs. Robinson put down her teacup, quite agitated that her sharing of her latest adventures had been cut short. “Why, pardon me, kind sir. I was under the impression we were free to speak our mind.”

Mrs. Thompson hid her laugh under her fan, while Mrs. Greig rolled her eyes. “Perfectly free,” the doctor replied. “It is how you speak of it I am troubled with.”

Laying a hand on kind Mrs. Wylie’s shoulder, Mrs. Robinson took a biscuit from the table. “Very well. How do you say, in proper society, that you masturbated a young man?”

Mrs. Thompson could not have controlled her laughter better. The forty year old was quite literally shaking, every vein in her body seeking to explode, but it was her face, all red and plump, that showed the most control as seemingly her jaws have been glued shut. “Why that is quite disgusting, Mrs. Robinson,” Mrs. Greig interrupted. “To be honest, I’ll have none of that here.”

“My dear, when has my relationship with a man been more disgusting than yours with the bottle,” Mrs. Robinson retorted.

“I’ll let you know I have been clean for over a month. A month, I say,” Mrs. Greig declared, the doctor nodding in assent behind her.

“A month, you say? Oh, my dearest, you couldn’t keep your mouth from a wine glass no more than I can keep mine from a penis.”

Mrs. Thompson’s cheeks finally gave out, as she roared in laughter. As she was wiping the tears rolling uncontrollably from her face, the eyes of the other people in the room fixed solely on her.

“Mrs. Thompson, control yourself,” the doctor ordered.

“Quite peculiar,” Mrs. Thompson replied, in between wheezes. “Quite peculiar, indeed.”

“She’s shaking like a dildo,” Mrs. Robinson mentioned, as she wiped crumbs off her blouse.

“Mrs. Robinson!” Mrs. Greig and the doctor said in unison, as Mrs. Thompson went on another bout of the funnies.


This is the 100 Songs Project, a 100-day writing challenge based on AFI’s 100 Years…100 Songs. Every day, I write a short poem, prose piece, or play based on, reacting to, rejecting, accepting, or doing something related to one of the songs in the top 100 list.

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